“You can change your world by changing your words”-Joel Osteen
You’re about to discover a very powerful word.
This word, if used right, will have amazing effects both in your parenting and in your personal life.
This word will defuse arguments with your children better and faster than almost any other.
It can also lower anxiety if you use it in your personal life.
Amazing right? One very powerful word with incredible benefits.
So what’s the word?
Yes, the word is nevertheless.
How can a simple word have such remarkable effects?
Let’s start with parenting. One thing you should never do with your kids is argue. Once you begin an argument, you have lost.
Arguing and having an open conversation are not the same thing. It’s ok to discuss things with your kids and at appropriate times it’s great to let them express their opinions in open, honest dialogue. But that’s not the same thing as arguing.
Now let me give you some examples of how and when you can use the “magic” word to avoid arguments.
Your teenager: “This is so stupid. Why do I have to be home by midnight? NONE of my friends have a curfew of 12:00 anymore.”
You: “Nevertheless, your curfew is midnight.” Then you can walk away without becoming emotional.
Here’s another conversation continuing on the curfew example:
Your teenager: “I’m sorry I got home late last night. I told my friend I had to be home at 12, but he wanted to finish the movie. I didn’t have any other way home.”
You: “Nevertheless, you knew the consequences of breaking curfew before you left. Therefore, you won’t be allowed to go out next weekend.”
See what the word can do for you? If you use it correctly, it can help you avoid the arguments and disengage from the over-emotional battles that can take place between you and your kids.
Use “nevertheless” anytime your kid is trying to argue. If you use it often enough, they will come to know that when they hear that word, there will be no point in trying to continue the argument.
This word can also have a tremendous impact on your own personal life-especially to lower anxiety. It can help with motivation, increase self-esteem, and decrease feelings of guilt as well.
Let me show you how to use it in your personal life. Here are some self-talk examples when it would be appropriate to use the magic word.
“I’ve had a long day and am too tired to do the dishes. Nevertheless, I will start the dishes now and relax for 30 minutes before I go to bed.”
“I will probably not get this new job. Nevertheless, I will apply for it and see what happens.”
“I feel bad for working late and missing my son’s game. Nevertheless, I will try to be at his game next week.”
“It’s too cold outside, and I’m way too tired to get up and exercise this morning. Nevertheless, I always feel better after I run, so I will get up now.”
See how this word can be used to defuse the negative thought patterns that creep up in all of us. Place the word after these thoughts, and you will find it helping tremendously in your own life.
Of course saying this word is not going to resolve all of your parenting and life issues-let’s be realistic. Nevertheless, give it a try and see how much it will help.